Mid-point in my flight from Salt Lake Sunday, I looked up from tireless work on a new book project to observe a young father drop his magazine with a gesture befitting an intolerant parent and shoot "the look" across the aisle to his two bickering teenage sons.
I remember the look, and similar rituals like the casual reach for the belt. It didn't take us long to learn that they were code for "No conversation will occur at this point."
Growing up, we discovered a different wisdom, that conflict is a call for opening rather than closing conversation. It is not a call for commandments, threats, and lectures. It's a call for dialogue on mutual vulnerabilities, fears behind angers, and loves behind fears.
